Saturday, February 28, 2009

Confessions of a Gas Jockey

If you live in Canada and it is winter, don't apply at a gas bar unless you are suicidal. If you aren't afraid of the -40 temperatures than I can assure you that it will be the angry customers that get you in the end. Especially if you work for a local company who's in the good books with grumpy old people. You may be a full service pump attendant but in their eyes your service is never full enough.

It's bad enough when they stand over you judging every move you make but it's worse when they give you instructions. For instance, I'm taking the nozzle out of the car and she's already yelling at me to put the gas cap on. You'd think I wasn't trained for the job. Sometimes it's all you can do not to slug an eighty year old in the face.

And of course there are just the plain weird customers. One time this guy was in a hurry because supposedly he'd witnessed a rape. And then there was one who told me to give his truck a good brush f*cking. Rednecks *sigh.

The jobs not all bad though. You have to stand for eight hours straight and you get paid minimum wage doing it. But there are tips, I believe one day I made close to 20 in tips (most of which went to junk food.) So I hope you have come out of reading this with a promise to yourself never to become a pump attendant. Nah, it's not all that bad.

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